“I cannot count the number of times I’ve tried to sit next to a lesbian in a bar and she’s screamed,
“THIS SEAT IS SAVED!”
“Okay, you win.”
I think they’re territorial about seats because that’s where the pussy goes;
the bar stool is a lesbian pussy platter.”

In other news, over the last few days I have used 3 big bottles of rubbing alcohol, scrubbing everything and anything that came in my path. Germs. Insanity. Dead human cells. Oil. Clean.

I have a midnight show. Is it full moon? the cats are acting psychotic.

Have listened to 100 podcasts since monday.

I’m doing a photoshoot for vimadonna magazine tomorrow.

Who has “e talking” by soulwax? I like it. Hook a brothah up.

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets.

1. They live here. You don’t.
2. If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the “fur”niture.
3. I like my pets a lot more than I like you.
4. To you, it’s an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn’t speak clearly.

————————

Easter grossness is finally over. Oh vey, the stench..
Wilde shows resume tomorrow. Come see us y’all.

————————

I now has a Second Life. I spent 3 hours to make me look like Shelley Duvall and I live underneith the water of the Orientation Island. It all feels very Dharma Initiative..

We only said good-bye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to…..

i had a sudden hunch that she would be
so i checked
and
amy sedaris is an aries!
of course of course of course
women aries are the bestest

stupidity is a capital crime.

my goddamned vintage suede lederhosen ripped again during last night’s show.
not surprisingly, it was made in the 50s.

Oh what to do to die today at a minute or two ’til two
A thing distinctly hard to say yet harder still to do
For they’ll beat a tattoo at twenty to two
With a rattatta tattatta tattatta too
And the dragon will come when he hears the drum
At a minute or two ’til two today
At a minute or two ’til two…

i can’t take the motherf*** make up off.

If people weren’t so fickle, wouldn’t it be loverly? Loverly. Loverly.
Also, I discovered Inger Stevens.
+ Angelos Bratis’ show tonight.

ah the days off.
groped butts last night at that boring party
so many podcasts to catch up on
so much food to devour.

my costume ripped at the butt during the show..
no underwear.

tomorrow: first day off in over two weeks.
sweet fatigue. wrecked my body tonight at the show.
will watch dvds, listen to podcasts,
eat pizza!!, cuddle with the monstahs.
gonads/good times/click da bibi

ah gad
we’re eating at brizolakia.gr
i eat the fries
’cause i don’t eat the meats
murder
show was fun!
ok, tomorrow..

alright already, yes, i now know my lines 100%, fook.

rehearsal finished at 2:30am last night.
i’m very, very tired.
my lifo interview is in this week’s issue.
καλύτερα να μασάς, παρά να μιλάς.

dreamt that i walked into my mother’s kitchen, and found a live, tied up duck waiting to be killed for dinner.
i freed him, he had very beautiful black eyes, we became the best of friends. my mother was furious.

read excerpts of Andy Warhol’s diary at Sfendoni theater

feels like a school night.
about to be caught red-handed.
sure, i did my homework.
[no, i didn’t]

belle de jour / day off
day de jour / belle off

so much fun last night.
so Andy Warhol was born august 6th.
i was born august 6th too.
ain’t that something?

tonight
at about 8:30pm i’ll be doing a reading
of Andy’s transcribed taped diary
at sfendoni theater
for the lifo Warhol party