i really really wish i didn’t feel so undeserving of all the good things in my life. what kind of sick attitude is that.

It’s scary, packing up. I want to go, I get emotional tho. 10 years. Not a happy place anymore, still it’s very eerie to exit. Poor little apartment. Goodbye.

que sera, sera.

We are on Myconos for Easter. Very mellow and soothing.

my mind has stopped.

Wow, one can get used to anything, good, indifferent, bad.

spending days, making things, to stay sane.

8am
Brand Bretagne Hotel

i can’t figure out if I’m scared shitless or deliriously happy

lifo‘s out

one trick pony.

Deafening silence.

Don’t let the light catch me Valery, don’t.

read

biorhythms.
figures.

..the drama teacher in the story, Miss Dodger, says “at a certain point in your life, probably when too much of it has gone by, you will open your eyes and see yourself for who you are, especially for everything that made you so different from all the awful normals and you would say to yourself, i am this person, and in that statement, there would be a kind of love”.

blood freezes in my veins

i love food but I’m thin
i love people but I prefer to be by myself
i love dollhouses but i have none
i hate greece but i live here
i love to be late but i’m always early
i hate my enemies but i love them
i love my friends but i hate them
i love empty spaces but my apartment is full
i love constancy but i create instability
i love white but i live in color
i love the moment but i live in the past
i love nice things but i must ruin them
i love making things but i keep my hands tied
if i like something, then i leave it
if i hate something, then I take it
i want to pick up the phone but i just look at it
i’d rather not post this entry, so i will.

I remember not long ago, a family of four, all sharing the same big white bed. Now we’re all scattered about, never to be united again. Such is life, I guess.

Souppy the cat is having a mastectomy tonight. The biopsy will show what lies ahead for us. My Souppy. Seems like yesterday that I met you by chance in the street, a little scruffy baby, scared out of your wits. Picked you up, put you in my coat and we have been a wonderfully disfunctional family ever since. I love you so, my little (huge) furry ball.