Don’t let the light catch me Valery, don’t.

read

biorhythms.
figures.

..the drama teacher in the story, Miss Dodger, says “at a certain point in your life, probably when too much of it has gone by, you will open your eyes and see yourself for who you are, especially for everything that made you so different from all the awful normals and you would say to yourself, i am this person, and in that statement, there would be a kind of love”.

blood freezes in my veins

i love food but I’m thin
i love people but I prefer to be by myself
i love dollhouses but i have none
i hate greece but i live here
i love to be late but i’m always early
i hate my enemies but i love them
i love my friends but i hate them
i love empty spaces but my apartment is full
i love constancy but i create instability
i love white but i live in color
i love the moment but i live in the past
i love nice things but i must ruin them
i love making things but i keep my hands tied
if i like something, then i leave it
if i hate something, then I take it
i want to pick up the phone but i just look at it
i’d rather not post this entry, so i will.

I remember not long ago, a family of four, all sharing the same big white bed. Now we’re all scattered about, never to be united again. Such is life, I guess.

Souppy the cat is having a mastectomy tonight. The biopsy will show what lies ahead for us. My Souppy. Seems like yesterday that I met you by chance in the street, a little scruffy baby, scared out of your wits. Picked you up, put you in my coat and we have been a wonderfully disfunctional family ever since. I love you so, my little (huge) furry ball.

throat, deepthroat, gag, choke, spit, snot, tears, rough, mean, dom, top, nut, sack, rim, spit, jizz, piss, rape, feet, cum, facial, drill, unload, kneel, submit, sub, worship, drool, head, bitch, slut, whore, face, gag reflex, take photos, precum, hung, force feed, slap around, pull hair, make you suck it, pound, gag the fag, underwear, boss sir that’s right i am in charge bdsm, bear, bi, bi curious, bi sexual, body worship, boi, cd, chub, chubby, corporal, punishment, cross dresser, cunt,md&s, daddy, degradation, discipline, dom, enemas, emasculation, exhibition, exhibitionism, exhibitionist, face, face sitting, fag hag, faghag, fat, fem, fem boy, feminization, feminize, fetish, fishnets, fur, heels, humiliation, husky, ink, kink, kinky, m4t, man pussy, man tits, masc, masculine, not passable, non passable, non-passable, nylons, otk, panties, panty, pantyhose, passable, piercings, pig, pussy, pussy boi, pussy boy, rape, rim, rim job, role play, role playing, role,, s m, s&m, shaved, sissification, sissy, sissy boy, slave, slave girl, slave gurl, slut, spanking, stockings, str8, straight, sub , submissive slut, tattoos, tgirl, thong, tits, top, torture, transgirl, transguy, ts, tv, twink, twink boy, verbal, verbal abuse, verbal humiliation, voyeur, watch, wax, xxl, xxxl

The calla lilies are in bloom again. Such a strange flower; suitable to any occasion.

Odos Panos magazine is out, the Kavafis issue, it includes a CD with new music and songs with Kavafi poems. I’m reciting in two of them.

Last shot. After I cross this corridor and exit camera left, it’ll have been the last shot of the last shooting day of this film.
Tomorrow morning, I’m going home to my girls and to a huge emotional, cultural and environmental shock.

Rain on demand.

A village is no place for a beautiful little lamb. They got his one from the butcher’s after I threatened to walk off the picture if they killed the live one they had brought to slaughter just for the motherfucking scene.

Last day of shooting.

Last week up here. Extreme cabin fever. Tired. So sick of these people.

I have a tree house, I’m never alone up there.

First day off in three weeks. I’ll stay in and gorge on my favorite blogs, diaries and journals. About 250 of them.

The latest issue of Highlights magazine is out now. Interview by Thodoris Colovos, photos by Christos Sarris.

After a fun day of bombs, fire, guns, smoke, mud and soot.

While on a break from a big battle scene, I gave nature a quick weave.

Bombs and bullets and smoke all day today. Loads of fun. Just like a western.

Also, there’s lots to be said about the comfort of strangers.

The last couple of weeks have been arduous, due to the arrival of 40 noisy actors and extras. Whatever atmosphere had been created on set before that, went out the window. They leave in a couple of days and to hell they can go.

I spend all of my down time in my hotel room, watching Grey Gardens and Dark Shadows. Precious company.

Mary Collins paid a quick visit on the set.

..as well as Meletis, who flew up for a fun weekend. Thank gawd.

Mel and I took a boat ride around the lake and the Byzantine churches there, built in caves.

Local products are very nice.

Trying to ignore the noise that these actors were loading up the set, by using creative avenues.

5am.

As soon as I finish the film, in about 10 days, I’ll be starting rehearsals in Athens for Fool for Love. I miss my daily routine, gym, good food, kitties, friends, but I dread it too.

Towards the end of the day, Mary Collins paid an inevitable visit to the set..

We’d be shooting at a decrepit, old village school, when I stumbled into my favorite childhood book, Josefin by Maria Gripe. I took it.

Goodnight.

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