I’m so retarded. How have I survived thus far?
on luck alone, I s’pose.

*kicks you in the pussAy*
[no, not you, you.]

I’m not this baby but I’ll claim that I am.
[Così è (se vi pare)]

if this was a private diary, I’d write that I’d like a hug.
As it is, I’ll write instead: suck my dick.

I have an offer from Japan to design a Blythe wig,
to be factory mass produced.
hm, which style to do..

start shooting a new film in September
and in October, I’m doing ‘Six Dance Lessons in Six Weeks’
with Reni Pitaki.

‘Ghosts’ finished. A great experience.
I gave it my all; it gave me great lessons and intense memories
as well as badly bruised knees and elbows.
bye-bye Mr. Ibsen.

I bought my costumes from the production company. Lovely Gaspard Yurkievich trousers and neat accessories.

I shot the cover and I’m featured in the Japanese magazine Dolly*Dolly. It comes out in a few days.

Identikit is the only thing that seems to make any sense these days.

“excuse me. do you carry a revolver?
because if you did, you could shoot me.”

dress rehearsal yesterday for Ibsen’s Ghosts

what a trainwreck
kinda fun but anything that could go wrong
kinda did

will i ever work again

i should post photos from my Tokyo trip 2 weeks ago
but I can’t be bothered and who gives two shits anyway
what else
hm

we open tonight
looking forward for it to end
so i can eat again

i suck

nearly broke both my shins at rehearsal
the set attacked my ass
blood and bruises

the stress is messing with my head
will i be able to rise to the occasion

in an instant
that bad part of my brain can take over
and i might derail

this saved my sanity today.
hopefully tomorrow, too.

i lost my cell phone

i wished to simplify my life
streamline the thing?
muaha

what shall I wish for nexts.

we went to see the rouazan, she was awesomes.

wah, i need to simplify my life.
streamline the thing.

[pic+’shop by d.rigas]

my interview in Marie Claire magazine is out this month
oh fascinating reading
truths revealed
guts spilled
pretty pictures to line your bird cage with

nought to say to you.

we shouldn’t have more things than we need

rehearsing, every day, all day
Ibsen’s Ghosts is very clever
E. a genius
what a privilege
to receive the ideas

little dinners with M.
sweet and brave

Les Yeux Sans Visage keeps the focus
mantra

then..

while up at the treehouse, love and comfort
an unexpected invaluable gift
i hold, with gloves on
i thank you

fig newtons in bed
last night we went out
did everything

i can read minds.

I killed a spider :-((

three painters who hate not being able to smoke indoors [lazy ass motherfuckers]
two parents who flew in to help [exhausted people]
two cats, one in heat, one who loathes strangers [drops of white paint on fur]
one apartment that looks bombed [never never ever ever the fucking fuck, again]

a possible ulcer that is probably smiling inside my stomach

the painters are working in the apartment
dust EVERYWHERE.

i am going to kill myself

can’t help
being wrecked
by people.

8:45am

rats. the wallpaper man jus’ came.
to the apartment
to do the wallpaper

gaaah, i jus’ cunt have strangers up in here honAye
makes me nervous

worst part
is
i have to leave him up in here honAye
by himself
and go to rehearsal

timing is everything and i suck balls at it

insane amount or work.
wishing the day had 30 hours
the week had 10 days
the year 100 weeks

———–
8am friday, the cleaning lady just threw me out of bed.

in other news, LOOK magazine is out
go read my ass
makes for fascinating reading
snort

for greek easter we went to Hydra island with M.

do you want a lollAy?
yes please
haven’t got any
I ate ’em all

hair. now. gone tomorrow.

woke up at 4am with clenched teef.
did I do right?
did I do wrong?

now:
does Heidi exist?
and Grandpa?

request:
can I come over. and stay?

in other news, I’ve developed what appears to be a very acute sixth sense,
go on, pick a question; I’ll know the answer.

Been fantasizing again about 50s New York. As it is, living here, today, I feel so cheated.

a young Joan C. teaches you the look of love.

in other news, I lost my cell phone
but it was found in M.’s bathroom.

in closing, it’s deafeningly quiet in the twilight zone.
but very loud in other areas, in other parts of the cosmos.